My Life Would Suck Without You
by Rayven49
Summary: Takes place during Saving the World...a songfic about how Max feels when the flock splits up. Title is self-explanatory. Nothing graphic or anything at all.
1. Chapter 1

**My Life Would Suck Without You**

**One-shot songfic, but could be a two-shot if people want. **

**Ok, so I just had this little thing in my head and normally I wouldn't do it because I'm sure it'd been done before. I took a lot of chunks from Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, put them in the order I wanted, added a few passages of my own devising, and added Kelly Clarkson's kick-butt song My Life Would Suck Without You. Very typical, very normal, very boring, but sweet. **

**Disclaimer: I am not, James, I am not Kelly. I am me. which is annoying. **

"This is great," said Ari. Fang shot him a venomous glance, then scowled at me. I ignored him and headed to the kitchen. It was time for some serious chow.

"Oh, thank God they're not vegetarians," Nudge said with feeling, pulling out some cans of beef stew.

"What's that one that's worse than vegetarian?" Gazzy wrinkled his nose.

"Vegan," I answered him. "Let's crack these babies open." I rummaged for an opener.

"Look, they even have some dog food!" the Gasman said, holding up a paper sack.

Total looked at him. "You're kidding me, right?"

The fridge had some actual fresh food in it-cheese and apples. Jam. Butter.

"Oh, pig heaven," Nudge breathed.

Ari had a hard time eating-he had ruined his mouth. I didn't say anything. We all make choices, and we all have to live with them.

_Have you thought about your choices, lately, Max?_ asked the Voice. _Are you making choices for the greater good or just for yourself?_

Nothing like a disembodied voice inside your head to dull your appetite. _Clearly, I'm not making choices just for myself, _I thought acidly. _If I were, I'd be reading a good book in a comfy hammock. Someplace warm._

"What did that guy mean, that China wanted to use us as weapons?" Iggy asked, pouring half a box of cereal into a bowl. Without spilling any.

"I don't know." I frowned. "I guess we could be spies? We couldn't carry heavy arms or anything. I mean, who knows what those head cases have cooked up? Probably moronic stuff, like us duct-taped to a bomb, programming it at the last second or something."

Gazzy laughed, and I looked around thinking. _My flock is together and safe. For now._

Well, my flock and Ari, the walking circus sideshow. And a talking dog. But still.

"Can I talk to you?" Fang was standing over me, his body radiating tension.

Oh, great. "Can it wait?" I ate the last piece of canned ravioli, then scraped the can with my fork.

"No."

I debated it, but there was really no ignoring Fang when he was like that. Sighing, I pushed back my chair and stalked outside. On the porch, I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Okay, let's have it out, "I said, trying not to show that he was upsetting me.

"Choose now," he spat, his eyes practically shooting sparks. _"Me or him."_

It'd been a few days since The Fight, as I privately called it, and The Split, as I also privately called it. Now, I didn't know how my guys were holding up, but the flock members in my immediate care weren't doing so hot.

**Guess this means you're sorry  
You're standing at my door  
**Nudge spoke in short sentences, and most of the time had this faraway look on her face. Occasionally, her lips would move silently, as if she was talking to someone who wasn't really there. Three someones.

**Guess this means you take back  
All you said before **

Angel was trying to be strong, so that I wouldn't be able to tell how much she was hurting. But I could tell. She missed her brother. Total was with her constantly and he only left her side for potty breaks. His tongue got rough from the amount of times he licked her face, trying to cheer her up.  
**Like how much you wanted  
Anyone but me **

Ari didn't talk much, but shot me looks when he thought I wouldn't notice. Ha. Like I didn't see every apologetic glance he sent my way. The times he opened his mouth to speak, eyes bright with anticipation, but then checked himself and looked away. Sure, he was enjoying his last days, but he knew that he was the reason He had left. Not that I was blaming him. This was all His fault. He didn't have to be stubborn, and stupid, and a freakin' scaredy-cat. I mean, didn't He trust my judgement? Evidently not. And that hurt. But all things considered, that was like pricking your finger with a needle, you didn't really notice the pain in the long run. Sorta.  
**Said you'd never come back  
But here you are again**

And how was I holding up? Well I was just great, just peachy. Couldn't be better. Always wanted to see what independence was like, and now I had almost more than I could handle. But I could handle anything.

Right?

**'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah**

I was a wreck. I missed my little trooper, my Gazzer. I missed his hellish cackle, his bright eyes, and the way he made us smile. The way he protected Angel. Always.

**You got a piece of me**

I missed Iggy, my perverted pyro. I missed the way his fingers would skim our hands, the way his head would turn as we spoke, the way he grinned so easily, and constantly plotted with Gazzy.

**And honestly,**

And I missed Him. Worst of all. He was like a thorn in my side, a sliver of ice freezing my heart. In every shadow I saw him, standing. In every rustle of a tree I heard him, walking. In every beat of my heart, in every sighting of a dark-clothed, tall guy on the street my breath would stop and he'd flash before my eyes. _Me or him, me or him, me or him._

**My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you**

Fang. I needed him so badly. I hadn't realized it until it was too late, and he was gone. I needed my rock, my other half, my right-hand man. But he wasn't there. And I didn't know where he was. Where they all were. My guys. My flock. The other side of my heart.

**Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye  
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight**

So I'd wanted Ari's last few days of life to be happy, was that such a crime? He was going to expire! He had helped us escape. He was my half-brother. Didn't any of that matter?

**I know that I've got issues  
But you're pretty messed up too**

I was scared to sleep at night. Yes, the great Maximum Ride, scared to sleep. Not because of Ari. I knew he'd never betray us again. Not ever. I took watch every night because when I slept, I saw his eyes, dark and accusing, and filled with such hatred. I saw them dying, killed, Gazzy blown to pieces, Iggy sprawled across him in a futile attempt to save his best friend. Fang standing above them, taking every blow, and his eyes never leaving, never leaving mine as my head rang with his words. _Me or him._

**Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you**

I couldn't live like this. It had to end. And it would. But no one knew when exactly Ari would expire, and until then, we were on our own. And I didn't think I could handle it.

**'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah**

We'd been flying all over Europe, sightseeing and trying to destroy Itexes along the way. The sightseeing was going well, but the destroying the Itex branches bit of my plan? Not so much. And I didn't care.

**You got a piece of me**

God, did he even miss me? Did he know he'd taken half my heart and my entire soul away with him? That I'd kill a thousand times, just to see him once? Just a glimpse, it'd be enough. I know, pathetic.

**And honestly,**

I hoped they were okay. I hoped they'd come back. I wish they'd never left. I wish he'd stayed.

**My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you**

"Everyone on guard," I breathed, and then suddenly we were in an airplane hangar-sized room.

_So what now? _I thought.

_You're where you need to be, doing what you need to do, _said the Voice. It was so rare that I got approval from the Voice that I was taken aback. _But are you sure you can do this alone?_

_I've got Nudge and Angel and Total and Ari, _I thought.

_You're missing half your family, _said the Voice. _Who is also half your army. _

_Not my fault, _I thought testily. _Not my decision._

_Does that mean it isn't your problem and you don't have to fix it?_

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. _And your point is…? _I thought.

_You need the rest of the flock. You need more fighters on your side. Get them back. _

I groaned to myself. Oh, just _heck._

So the long and short of it was, we snuck through Itex, to a computer lab. Nudge emailed Fang while I kept a brilliant-and totally failed-lookout that got us captured. And we didn't know if he'd even read the message. We were totally dead. But that didn't mean I was calling it quits. Not just yet…

We were walking in the Yard of Despair when it happened. I was deep in thought, trying to come up with one of my typically brilliant plans, when a mutant bumped into me for a split second, then moved away.

It left something in my hand.

A piece of paper.

Very, very surreptitiously, I unfolded it and glanced down. It was a note, and it said: _Fang is on his way. Says it'd better not be a joke. _

It wasn't a joke, and he was too late.

"To begin, Omega will vanquish a somewhat successful human-avian hybrid," said the Director. "And that will be a symbol for how everything will go from here on."

I stiffened and stared at her.

The Director looked right back at me.

"Right, Max?" she said, "Maximum Ride and Omega will fight to the death."

Yeah, he was waaaaaaaaaay too late.

"We must fight," said Omega.

I was so tired of all the puppet masters pulling our strings.

"You can decide not to," I told him firmly.

No way was I fighting if I didn't have to. I was tired. I was in pain. And there was a chance I would lose. And then I'd never get to see my flock again.

Never see Fang again.

Okay, I was pissed.

He frowned. "I don't know how…to not."

"Oh, for crying out loud," I muttered, then swung back and walloped him in the side of his head as hard as I could. I jumped and landed a scissors kick against his neck, and he went down on his knees, coughing. Then I clasped my hands together and gave Omega a powerful two-handed punch that sent him facedown into the dirt.

I looked down at Omega, the superboy, the pinnacle of Itex's achievement. I looked up at the Director, she was staring at me with the pure, cold hatred of someone who's been defeated by something she thought was inferior.

Well, that's the breaks.

Omega was out cold, but not dead. We were supposed to fight to the finish. If he'd gotten me on the ground, he would have killed me, poor sap. He didn't know any better.

But I did. I could have given him a quick sideways kick at the base of his neck, which would have snapped his spine. Instead I walked away.

_Who's the better man now, you idiot?_ I thought at the Director.

**Being with you  
Is so dysfunctional**

When I saw them at last, on a barrier island off the coast of North Carolina, I almost couldn't speak. Nudge, Angel, and I coasted to a landing on the beach, feeling the sand squeak under our shoes. There was a line of gnarled oaks at the top edge of the beach, and I looked through them, then checked my watch.

**I really shouldn't miss you  
But I can't let you go  
Oh yeah**

"You're late."

Fang stepped out of the shadows, eating an apple. He was dressed in black, as usual, and his face looked like a lumpy plum pie. But his eyes shone as he came toward me, and then I was running to him over the sand, my wings out in back of me.

**'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah**

We smashed together awkwardly, with Fang standing stiffly for a moment, but then his arms slowly came around me, and he hugged me back. I held him tight, trying to swallow the lump of cotton in my throat, my head on his shoulder, my eyes squeezed shut.

**You got a piece of me**

"Don't ever leave me again," I said in a tiny voice.

"I won't," he promised into my hair, sounding most un-Fang-like. "I won't. Not ever."

**And honestly,**

And just like that, a cold shard of ice that had been inside my chest ever since we'd split up-well, it just disappeared. I felt myself relax for the first time in I don't know how long. The wind was chilly, but the sun was bright, and my whole flock was together. Fang and I were together.

**My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you**

And he'd never leave me again.

**So read and review, and if you'd like me to find a second song ( I already have some ideas) and do this from Fang's point of view as well, turning this into a two-shot songfic, I will. Just let me know! Thanks!**


	2. Surprise!

Hello everyone!

First off, this is not another Maximum Ride chapter; I'm sorry if that disappoints. But, I am making good on another promise: I have been legitimately published on an online teen writing site and am here to alert you so that those of you who wanted to continue reading my work could do so. If you're still interested, please go to www dot breenmontpress dot com and my story is the one titled On Death Cards. Please send me feedback if you like it, hate it, whatever! I can always do with some constructive criticism (though gushing reviews are just fine). Hope everyone's having a pleasant February and those on the Eastern US coast aren't getting too hammered by snow and ice!

Thank you,

Rayven49


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